21 Reasons for Buying Beads

1. Baggies and tubes of beads tightly packed in various containers make an excellent insulation for the home.

2. Buying beads keeps our economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support bead stores.

3. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.

4. Because they are on sale.

5. At any moment the employees of a bead factory might go on strike and limit the availability.

6. We are participating in a contest. The one with the most beads wins.

7. A bead keeps without refrigeration, you don't have to cook it to enjoy it, you never have to feed it, change it or walk it.

8. We need extra weight in the trunk of our cars for traction on icy or muddy roads. You never know when the weather might change.

9. Because we are worth it.

10. Like dust, containers of beads are good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house, such as ironing boards, dining room tables or any other horizontal surface.

11. If the BIG earthquake comes, all the bead stores might be swallowed into the ground and never seen again.

12. Stress from dealing with the "Bead Control Officer" (spouse) makes us do it.

13. Buying beads is not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul and makes us feel good.

14. We have to buy beads before our husband retires and goes with us on all our shopping expeditions.

15. A bead purchase a day helps us work rest and play.

16. Beads are a proven aphrodisiac.

17. While shopping for beads you don't have to worry if they'll fit, or how big they will make your hips look.

18. Beads don't argue, or get crabby.

19. Beads get better with age, like women and wine.

20. You need never go near Loehmann's dressing room to buy beads.



When will we stop buying beads?????